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Many people believe that money is the ultimate success. However, there are many wealthy people that are utterly miserable. Maybe success is about more than just money. You can define success for yourself. Is success about money? It can be if that’s what you choose. It can also be about something else. You can set […]
Many people believe that money is the ultimate success. However, there are many wealthy people that are utterly miserable. Maybe success is about more than just money.
You can define success for yourself. Is success about money? It can be if that’s what you choose. It can also be about something else. You can set several criteria and attempt to achieve them.
What’s important is to create a definition for success that resides within your values, allows you to enjoy life, and avoids feelings of regret when you get older. This is easier to determine than you might think.
Your definition of success is unique and yours to determine.
Consider these ideas:
1. Time. Many people value time above all else. Most of us wouldn’t enjoy having a bunch of money if we never had the opportunity to enjoy it. Do you wish you had more free time? How much free time do you need to enjoy your life to the fullest?
2. Friends. Do you value your friends? How much do your friendships mean to you? How many friends do you need in order to feel successful? How much time would you need to spend with your friends to feel like your life is a success?
3. Personal development. Do you need to learn to play an instrument or to speak German to feel successful? A college degree? Climb a peak over 25,000 feet? Learn to program in Python? Be able to meditate for three hours straight? Perform 10 perfect pull ups?
4. Providing for your family. Maybe you believe that success means giving your child the opportunity to attend Harvard. You might also want to be able to pay for such an expensive education. Do you want your kids to grow up in the suburbs? Send your spouse to college?
5. Adventure. Maybe success means living an adventurous life. You might race motorcycles on the weekend and train as a Navy Seal during the week. It’s possible that taking a train across Tibet and living in a commune is your cup of tea.
6. Happiness. Success might be all about happiness to you. Maybe you measure success each day by how happy you were.
7. Goals. Success can be measured by how successful you are in achieving your goals. Many people enjoy the challenge of setting big goals and having the determination and discipline to make them a reality. Does this sound like you?
8. Living to an ideal. Do you have a strong vision of how the perfect person should live? Do you have a strong moral code? Maybe your brand of success revolves around how well you live up to that ideal. What type of person do you want to be each day?
9. Career. Some people consider themselves successful if they have a successful career. Regular promotions and greater wages can be one way to measure success. Maybe you want to excel at a career that helps people.
10. Doing for others. The ultimate measure of success for some people is helping others. Many people thrive on being useful and kind.
Your definition of success will likely have multiple criteria. Having a lot of free time might be important to you, but not at the cost of your children going without food.
Examine your own values and beliefs and create your own version of success. Project yourself far into the future and imagine the type of life you want to look back upon. Now, adopt a definition of success that works for you!
If you need help in designing your own definition of success and developing how-to steps to get there, I would love to talk with you about that. Contact me for a free no-risk assessment and plan for how I could help you grow and reach your goals.
Meditation offers practitioners powerful benefits, yet many people are confused as to what exactly those benefits are. In a nutshell, meditation focuses attention in a deliberate manner, taking you from a state of noisy mental chatter to calm and quiet inner peace. And isn’t that something most of us could use? While meditation has been […]
Meditation offers practitioners powerful benefits, yet many people are confused as to what exactly those benefits are. In a nutshell, meditation focuses attention in a deliberate manner, taking you from a state of noisy mental chatter to calm and quiet inner peace. And isn’t that something most of us could use?
While meditation has been practiced for thousands of years in the east and – more recently – west as a way to grow spiritually, modern medicine is now finally extolling the numerous health benefits that meditation offers.
Meditation has the ability to reduce stress hormones by calming the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems. These systems are what activate our main panic responses (“fight,” “flight,” “freeze,” or “friend”) to stressful situations. Because of this, meditation can be a wonderful coping strategy for those suffering with trauma.
Is Meditation Better than Medication
Historically, people battling post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) have been given medication to help alleviate unwanted and unpleasant symptoms. But a new study has found that regular practice of meditation enables some active duty service members battling PTSD to reduce, or even eliminate their need of psychotropic medications and to better control their often-debilitating symptoms.
This is great news for service men and women, and anyone who is battling PTSD. Not only can meditation help to calm your nerves and rewire your brain, it can also reduce the risk of developing negative side effects to many psychotropic medications used to treat PTSD and anxiety disorders. Beyond memory loss and erectile dysfunction, one of the biggest side effects of these medications is depression. That’s the last thing a person suffering from PTSD needs.
How to Begin a Meditation Practice
If you are suffering from the effects of trauma and would like to try meditation, here are some steps you can take to get started:
Find a Group Practice
If you’re completely new to meditation, you may want to join a group meditation course that meets every week. You can usually find groups in your local area through online communities such as Meetup.com.
Be Open Minded
Meditation has long been associated with new age movements. But you would be amazed at the different kinds of people that now practice meditation. If you tend to be a skeptical person, try to have an open mind as you begin your practice.
Be Patient
It’s called a practice for a reason. You won’t “get” meditation overnight. You’ll have to keep at it before it becomes natural for you and you really reap the benefits. Try to have patience and just keep at it.
If you or a loved one are suffering from trauma symptoms and would like to speak with someone who can help, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss the treatment options that would work best for you.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201601/meditation-reduces-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-symptoms
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201306/how-does-meditation-reduce-anxiety-neural-level
https://psychcentral.com/news/2018/01/13/transcendental-meditation-shown-to-ease-veterans-ptsd/131167.html
Did you know that on most days, the average person has between 25,000 and 50,000 thoughts? That’s an impressive amount of thoughts. But when happens when the majority of these thoughts are negative? Imagine the impact on your psyche and your life if you had thousands and thousands of negative thoughts each day? This amount of negative […]
Did you know that on most days, the average person has between 25,000 and 50,000 thoughts? That’s an impressive amount of thoughts.
But when happens when the majority of these thoughts are negative? Imagine the impact on your psyche and your life if you had thousands and thousands of negative thoughts each day?
This amount of negative thinking is a hallmark of depression. Negative or pessimistic thinking is depression speaking for you. It is the voice of depression. What many people don’t realize is that depression is manifested in negative thinking before it ever creates a negative thought itself.
This is why it is imperative for those suffering from depression to become acutely aware of their thought patterns. If not checked, negative thinking becomes a habit, one that has the potential to completely shape your life.
Change How You Think
One of the most powerful ways people can lift themselves out of the darkness of depression is to change their thinking patterns. This is why cognitive therapy is such a profound change agent. The approach is based on the fact that thought-processing errors contribute to a depressed mood.
By changing how you think, you automatically change how you feel. Once you become aware that changing your thinking is important, you are presented with an active choice you can take to benefit your mental health.
I know. This sounds about as easy as changing a tire in the rain with nothing more than a hardboiled egg and a paper clip. But it can be done.
Here are some tips on how you can begin to change your negative thoughts:
Keep Track of Your Thoughts
Many people are in denial about their thought patterns. They don’t want to believe they are overly negative or pessimistic. Catching yourself and recording as many negative thoughts as you can will help you to see your own mental patterns.
What will these thoughts look like? You could write things like, “I hate my feet.” “My boss is an idiot.” “I hate spring.” “I hate getting up this early.” “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Be particularly mindful of making sweeping generalizations from one specific event. It’s a type of black and white thinking that can be particularly harmful.
Identify Triggers
Once you get an idea for the frequency of your negative thoughts, try and pinpoint the triggers for them. Your journal will also come in handy here, because it will point out certain types of events that set off a chain of negative thoughts. Triggers can include being rejected or ignored, or having an unkind remark said about or to you.
Positive Conversion
You have so far learned that the human thinking process is habitual. But the good news is, you can create good thinking habits.
To do this you’ve got to start converting all of those negative thoughts into positive ones. It will be hard at first, and you will most likely feel as if you’re lying to yourself and pretending to be a glass-half-full Pollyanna.
But, as they say, “You’ve got to fake it until you make it.” Though thinking positively may feel foreign to you and like a waste of your time, you are re-training your brain to think (and feel) good.
Every time you have a negative thought, stop, recognize it as negative, and immediately flip the switch and create the positive opposite thought in its place. This could look like:
Negative thought: “I’ll never get this report done on time.”
Positive Switch: “I’m making great progress and being careful to always check my work.”
To get the hang of how to do this, go through your negativity journal and create a separate column in which you will write the positive opposites of your many negative thoughts.
If you feel too dark and down to complete these exercises, please consider reaching out to a trained therapist who can prescribe medication, should you require it, and help you work through these struggles.
If you or a loved one are suffering from depression and are interested in exploring treatment options, please contact me. I would be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
It seems the current popular advice for growing your business is, “You need a coach,” and you’ll see dozens of people hanging up their coaching hat, advertising for clients. But the term “coach” is extremely broad and general so the key to hiring the right coach is knowing what you’re looking for and what TYPE […]
It seems the current popular advice for growing your business is, “You need a coach,” and you’ll see dozens of people hanging up their coaching hat, advertising for clients. But the term “coach” is extremely broad and general so the key to hiring the right coach is knowing what you’re looking for and what TYPE of coach to hire. After all, you wouldn’t hire a college basketball coach to bring the school’s football team to a bowl game, would you?
Every coach has their own niche – much like your business serves a particular niche – and within those niches, every coach has their own strengths and weaknesses. Let’s look at some of those niches in full detail.
Mindset Coaches
Mindset coaches focus on your brain’s mindset, how you think and feel about your business and your life; and how to turn any negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Mindset coaches do not solely focus on business; if you’re unhappy with any aspect of your life, a mindset coach can help you figure out your dreams and help you achieve them. Some mindset coaches are licensed psychotherapists while others are certified coaches.
Confidence Coaches
These coaches empower their clients who struggle with limiting beliefs and shyness. Again, they are not focused solely on business owners; absolutely anyone who wants to combat negative self-talk and increase their own self-esteem can hire a confidence coach. Some confidence coaches are licensed life coaches or have other degrees in addition to their coaching certifications.
Public Speaking Coaches
There’s much more to public speaking than reading PowerPoint slides verbatim. Public speaking coaches are skilled communicators who can analyze the effectiveness of your presentation; give hints about diction and enunciation, as well as give tips for making your presentation more engaging or entertaining. These speaking coaches can also help you combat your stage fright.
Writing Coaches
We all know the basics of writing from our elementary school days but writing is not a talent that comes easily to everyone. Whether you need some critiques for your blog posts or want to get input of how to outline your book, writing coaches are language experts who often specialize in a certain niche – book publishing, travel writing, food writing, etc. – who can help you convey your information in a more effective way to your audience.
Branding and Visibility Coaches
Branding is so much more than your logo and your business colors. Branding coaches will help you develop your company brand – or your company image – and will help you gain the visibility (publicity) that you need to build name recognition. Branding coaches have a firm understanding of how to convey your message to your audience and how to keep your business image positive.
An experienced business coach will know which coaches will best serve you and should also have contact names and professional relationships with those in each niche. Call me today to determine if I can help you reach your professional business and life goals.
In the frenetic, fast-paced world we live in, mindfulness has become increasingly important. When we talk about being mindful, we’re talking about the ability to be fully in the present moment, aware of our surroundings; where we are, whom we’re with, and what we’re doing. Mindfulness keeps us grounded, keeping us from overreacting or becoming […]
In the frenetic, fast-paced world we live in, mindfulness has become increasingly important. When we talk about being mindful, we’re talking about the ability to be fully in the present moment, aware of our surroundings; where we are, whom we’re with, and what we’re doing. Mindfulness keeps us grounded, keeping us from overreacting or becoming overwhelmed.
By its nature, prayer helps us become and stay more mindful. By connecting in quiet reflection to something deeply spiritual and meaningful, we’re able to see our life and experiences from a broader perspective.
Increases Focus
Studies have shown that prayer, a type of meditation, helps to increase your focus. Prayer makes you better equipped to quiet your mind and avoid becoming lost in thought. With increased focus, you’re able to control mind wandering and stay in the moment.
Controls Impulses
According to a 2009 study on religion, self-regulation, and self-control by the University of Miami’s Department of Psychology, being a religious follower can promote self-control and self-monitoring.
Additionally, when studying the effects of meditation on the brain, brain-imaging studies have shown that meditation increases frontal cortex activity. The frontal lobe of the brain is responsible for, among other things, emotional expression, problem solving, and judgement.
More Gratitude
Gratitude is a feeling of gratefulness for gifts and blessings. By practicing gratitude, we’re sharpening our attention towards the good in our lives. We see and appreciate everything around us that’s positive.
Prayer helps you maximize gratitude by helping you reform your thoughts, much in the way that mindfulness does. We can surmise that regular prayer for religious followers may help them feel more clear-minded and able to concentrate on what’s positive.
Gratitude is also a feeling that we choose; we can choose to be grateful, or we can choose to be ungrateful. By utilizing prayer to concentrate on blessings or mindfulness to concentrate on the good in our lives, we help keep our mind distracted from negative thoughts. Both techniques help you appreciate the moment in which you’re living.
When your life is busy with work and family, it can feel impossible to make time for either mindfulness meditation or prayer. But even five minutes a day will make a difference over time, as your steady practice of quiet contemplation will help you learn to redirect your thoughts and focus your attention.
If you’re looking for guidance and direction on how to become more mindful through prayer, give our office a call today. One of our specially trained staff will be more than happy to help.
Are you trying to learn everything about everything in an effort to save money? Sure, it’s tough to admit you need help but if you continue being everything to everyone, you’ll burn out and resent your business. Years ago when I was first starting my coaching business I was in an online conversation about […]
Are you trying to learn everything about everything in an effort to save money? Sure, it’s tough to admit you need help but if you continue being everything to everyone, you’ll burn out and resent your business.
Years ago when I was first starting my coaching business I was in an online conversation about the importance of choosing a niche for your business rather than just saying, “I want to serve EVERYBODY.” Of course, you want to make money so instinctively business owners tell themselves that it’s better to appeal to more people than a selective few. But somebody in the conversation responded by saying, “Do you want to be known as Walmart or do you want to be known as Neiman Marcus?”
The point is Walmart appeals to everyone but they depend on the sheer volume of customers to make their profit. Neiman Marcus, on the other hand, appeals to a very specific demographic which has the disposable income to spend and they don’t shirk at those retail prices. So Neiman Marcus can make the same profits as Walmart by serving a more selective customer base.
A similar argument can be made for why business owners should work with business coaches: owners can’t possibly know EVERYTHING there is to know about business as well as knowing everything about their chosen niche. There’s just not enough time in the day and you’d stretch yourself too thin.
Owners are more focused on their business niche (rightfully so) providing relevant services and products for their customers whereas business coaches have a greater understanding of business practices overall and work with businesses in many different niches. If you’re trying to learn everything you can about efficient back-end processes, for example, you’re taking time away from your money-making marketing efforts to your niche customers, which could negatively affect your profits. Whereas your business coach can give you advice about efficient back-end processes plus help you implement them while you continue with your marketing efforts.
Think about large corporations. Does the company president know everything there is to know about the inner workings of the company and the daily processes? Probably not, that’s why there’s a CFO and department heads; they focus on their own specialties and advise the president, who then makes decisions based on that input. The same can be said about your company; you’re the president of your company and your business coach can advise you about which steps will yield the most profits.
If you’re ready to work with a business coach, I’m ready to show you how I can help you improve your bottom line and grow your business. Call me or contact me on my webite.
It has long been believed that having faith is key to getting through some of life’s greatest challenges. A spiritual practice can often give people the strength and confidence to push through obstacles and make positive changes. But can faith have a positive effect on depression and anxiety? According to new research, it can. Your […]
It has long been believed that having faith is key to getting through some of life’s greatest challenges. A spiritual practice can often give people the strength and confidence to push through obstacles and make positive changes.
But can faith have a positive effect on depression and anxiety? According to new research, it can.
Your Brain on Spirituality
According to a study published in JAMA Psychiatry, meditation or any other form of regular spiritual practice (such as prayer or religious contemplation) has been linked to a thickening of the brain cortex. The study, which was the first to investigate whether there is any physical evidence in the brain linked to the protective effects of faith against depression, looked at 103 adults at either high or low risk of depression, based on family history.
At the end of the study, magnetic resonance was used to view participants’ brains, and the images clearly showed thicker cortices in those participants who placed a high importance on religion or spirituality than those who did not.
But even more significant was the fact that the thicker cortex was found in exactly the same regions of the brain that had shown thinning in people with a high risk for depression.
3 Ways Faith Can Help You Fight Depression and Anxiety
Every individual requires unique treatment methods to combat their symptoms of depression. While cognitive behavioral therapy and prescription medications work well for many people, many others may be helped by embracing a spiritual practice.
If you are suffering with depression, here are three reasons why you may want to focus more on your faith:
1. Faith Offers Hope
A belief in a loving power greater than ourselves can help us feel hopeful, even in our darkest hours. Faith turns wishful thinking into great expectations. And when we start to expect goodness in our lives, we naturally feel hopeful for our future.
2. Your Behaviors Evolve
Whether it’s through praying, meditating, or attending some sort of spiritual service or gathering, faith-filled people tend to experience positive changes in their attitudes and behaviors. Where once you may have had a knee-jerk emotional reaction to a situation, you might now be able to center yourself instead and face situations with calmness and clarity.
3. Your Perception Changes
Faith has a way of helping us see ourselves and our lives differently. Problems turn into opportunities, enemies into friends, and impossibilities into possibilities.
While it may take some time before you feel relief from your depression or anxiety, by embracing faith, you will be better able to cope with the symptoms.
If you or a loved one are suffering from depression or anxiety and would also like to explore treatment options, please reach out. I would be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
SOURCES
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-the-questions/201603/4-powerful-ways-spirituality-can-ease-anxiety-and-depression
https://psychcentral.com/news/2018/07/31/for-many-with-severe-mental-illness-spirituality-plays-role-in-well-being/137462.html
https://psychcentral.com/news/2014/01/19/how-spirituality-protects-the-brain-against-depression/64698.html
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/1792140
Good business coaches are able to look at a company objectively, ask pertinent questions, and guide the owner through the process of creating a plan for future growth. Consider a business coach your objective third party, the one who can sort through the processes that work and those that don’t work and help mold the […]
Good business coaches are able to look at a company objectively, ask pertinent questions, and guide the owner through the process of creating a plan for future growth. Consider a business coach your objective third party, the one who can sort through the processes that work and those that don’t work and help mold the company into a profitable entity.
For any business owner with an online presence (and EVERY business should be online!) there are many passive ways to build income streams into your website and products that will bring in extra money while you focus on serving your current customers. Passive income is good and will help your bottom line while you actively market your business. You’ve invested good money into your business and your website; why not make it work harder for you?
If you need more help deciphering which passive income streams you’re wasting, contact me to schedule a discovery meeting.